And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
