listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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