the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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