It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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