How'd it feel making her break her religion?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
