No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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