i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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