so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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