Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
