I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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