If that was your dad, he is hot
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
