He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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