I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
