Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
