You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just pynch a tree in the face
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
