So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize