if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize