it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
