it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
