Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just puked most of my soul out..
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