forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
