I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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