how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
