The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I smell stomach acid.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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