If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
