names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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