like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
