We're facebook friends in real life
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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