windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
nutella sex= disaster
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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