just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
