Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
