I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
