It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
