He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
