She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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