this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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