I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
