Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
