quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
