Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
