Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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