you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
