I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
