My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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