so let's talk penis.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
