I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
