I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
