She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize