have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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