no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
