Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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