just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
