I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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