I have demons in me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
