i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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