Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
