I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
