Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
