Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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