what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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