if you like me you must not know who I am
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
