I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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