and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
