Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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