I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
