"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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