I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sobbing to NWA
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
