I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize