honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
